Men in Kilts, Men's Skirts, Sarongs and Other Kilt-like Clothing

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Frequently Asked Questions

Kilt questions commonly encountered (and some sassy replies):

What is worn under the kilt?

  1. Shoes and sox.
  2. Nothing is worn under the kilt.  Everything is in perfect working order.

What are you wearing under your kilt?

For one dollar, I'll tell you.  For five dollars, I'll show you.  For ten dollars, you can find out for yourself.

Seriously . . .

The Scottish Highland regiments are supposed to wear nothing under their kilts. Scottish dancers wear dark underpants to avoid exposure.  In his authoritative book, So You're Going to Wear the Kilt, Charles Thompson suggested wearing dark-colored men's bikini briefs. This might be a prudent practice for men in the United States, where sexual paranoia is rampant.

Do you play the bagpipes?

  1. Only to annoy my neighbors.
  2. No, I just play the radio.

Where are your bagpipes?

Under my kilt.

Is something special going on today?

Every day is special when I'm wearing a kilt.

Are you Scottish?

  1. Isn't everyone?
  2. No, but why should the Scots have all the fun?
  3. (Actually, I do have some Scottish ancestors.)

Are you gay?

No, just extremely happy not to be cramped up in trousers.

Is that a skirt you're wearing?

  1. It's called a kilt.  Do you know why? Because that's what happened to the last guy who called it a "skirt."
  2. (Actually, a kilt is a kind of skirt.  However, not all skirts are kilts.)

Why do you wear a kilt?

  1. For comfort.
  2. I have a real problem with trousers.  They irritate me in a place where I'd rather not be irritated.
  3. Because I love it, and because I can!

Aren't your legs cold?

No, my kilt has a built-in thermostat.  It's called "wool."

Where are your trousers?

I donated them to the women's shelter.

 

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e-mail: Brvhearts@aol.com

This site has been visited times since August 16, 2002.

This page last modified on August 16, 2002

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